Part of the Herd
One of the biggest problems in society today is that almost no one is true to themselves. We live in an age of group think and mob mentality. Nearly everyone is afraid of stepping outside the line and thinking for themselves for fear of being shunned, shamed, doxxed, and these days, even attacked. Instead, they find security in the flush of dopamine that comes with being agreed with by the masses, which in the age of social media can be hundreds of thousands if not millions.
Like the majority of young Men today, when I was much younger and still on the path of discovering just who in the hell I was, I fell victim to which ever trend was popular. My belief system was even up for debate depending on which way the wind was blowing. I had no code that I held myself to. No concrete convictions. I changed the way I dressed, the music I listened to, even the people I hung out with trying to find the one cool thing to be at that moment. I was, in every sense of the word, a sheep. I had this inescapable fear of not being accepted because I had planted my flag on the wrong hill.
To this day, I believe that all of that came from growing up without Father. Being raised mostly by a single mother I had always been warned against rocking the boat. Keeping peace is a females bag. Not readily built for confrontation or bucking the system, maintaining an even keel was what my mother encouraged most. Granted, that didn’t last very long and I ended up bucking the system, capsizing the boat, and turning the keel on its axis. But not for the sake of rebellion, no. I was doing it because I saw others doing it. I fell right back into the sheep mentality.
A big contributing factor to becoming one of the herd is our very nature to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. Humans seek out companionship no matter how much they like to think of themselves as “lone wolves”. The desire to belong is a compelling one and too often do we find ourselves struggling to maintain a facade that we created to fit in, in the first place. This is where things begin to unravel, so rather than becoming ourselves, we search frantically to find to the next thing we must become in order to avoid isolation.
Becoming The Outlier
What you have to understand is that to be an outlier, you have to be the very best at what you do. So to start, what are you the best at? The first answer is obvious, or at the very least, should be. You are the very best at being you.
Let me tell you a story. Back in January of 2019 I got the idea to start Rugged Legacy. I had products, recipes, techniques, I’m talking the works. And what did I do? Did I hold them so close to my chest that I almost absorbed them for fear of being outdone? No, I gave them away. Free of charge. Now before you start thinking I’m insane, I’ll tell you why. Because I learned a long time ago that there was not a single person on this planet that could be a better me, than me. I can give everyone everything I have, tell them every secret, every password and they still wont be able to live my life better than I do or attract the audience that I attract. You have that very same thing going for you.
You’ll never be able to find the place you think you belong by looking. The only way to end up there is to create it for yourself. You need to ask yourself some questions. There is the adaptive part of you that has been trained to fit in, but the other part of you is the more real you, the authentic part of you. When you compare the two you find discrepancies. You need to examine your values. You need to have a code, a creed to live by. That code, like a badge represents everything that you stand for, or against. So take a look at your integrity, your character, your own hypocrisies, where you are falling short of your own self proclaimed ideals. It’s time to grow some balls and face who you really are.
The trends have no effect on who you are at your core. The values you and convictions you possess aren’t up for debate or negotiation. The line in the sand has been drawn and you stand firmly behind it.
Sounds sexy as hell, doesn’t it?
Well, it isn’t. It can be downright dangerous at first. You’ve stood against the masses and claimed to be different, to see the world through your own eyes rather than those given to you on the group-think assembly line. Now, you run the risk of not fitting in, not being a part of the crowd. You’re no longer the grey man blending into the background. Now you and your ideals must rest solely on your own merit.
One of the least common things in the world today is grit. A toughness that’s developed over time spent enduring the pressure to cave to conformity and by being self reliant. By not relying on the support of others for acceptance and validation you’ve a new found strength that you never known before along with a sense of responsibility to be true to yourself no matter the cost.
The outlier has true freedom of self and purpose. He is driven to be faithful to his code. And without a code, he wouldn’t be a Man at all.