the male head of a family or tribe.
It’s no question that male leadership in the home is on the decline across the board. The rate that people are getting married is on the decline while the rate of divorce is steadily rising. Left in the wake is an entire generation of young boys and girls growing up in homes with little to no male leadership or influence and the side effects are disconcerting to say the least.
Even more disappointing, although much less known, is the increase in which fathers that have remained in the the home are still shirking their duties as the head of their family. They are failing in every metric of leadership of their wives and children. Sadly, these men are damaging their children just as much as their divorced counterparts by being terrible examples of what husbands and fathers can and should be.
Far too many men have resigned themselves to a life of mediocrity filled with half measures in their lives and relationships and their wives and children are the ones paying for it.
Whether it be out of a sense of concession to the new “woke” culture that has been unabashedly shaming men at every turn for simply doing what they were created to do, or out of a lack of courage and willingness to be the men they should be, married men have refused to take their place at the head of the household in every way imaginable.
This has created turmoil. Wives being forced to take up the crown end up resenting their husbands inability to lead which starts the downward spiral that leads to an unfulfilling marriage and even divorce.
So what’s the solution?
Call it old fashioned if you want, but when it comes to the most successful and fulfilling relationships between a man and his wife, 99 out of 100 times it’s because the man has taken his natural and rightful place at the helm of the ship. Yes, I’m talking about gender roles. Whether some would like to admit it or not, they exist because they work.
Your wife wants a man who is a tower of strength. Someone she can readily rely on to be the rock that she can hold onto in the midst of a storm and make decisions that will lead to the betterment of the relationship. She doesn’t want to have to make the important decisions alone. She wants a man that can make them for her while she places her trust in him that he is leading her toward a fulfilling life, that the choices he makes will be for the betterment and benefit of the entire family.
What she doesn’t want is a child. Well, maybe she does, maybe you already have children. But whether her instincts to become a mother are redlining her engine or she has already given you sons and daughters,
She doesn’t want YOU to be that child.
She wants you to be the man with whom she can have and raise a child. She wants you to be the example of what a man is and should be that her sons can one day emulate and her daughters one day find a husband with the same traits and values. She married you and had children with you out of the hope that you would be able to raise strong and capable children together, not to take care of you as a child.
She needs to see you as a man if you expect her to follow you willingly. This is going to take some work, much of it internal, but more than enough external that you are going to experience some resistance at first and not just from your wife.
This is going to require you to change forever. This isn’t something that you can try for a while and see whether it’s for you or not. You must understand that if you start this path, there can be no turning back if you expect to be able to save your relationship.
Taking up the mantle of Patriarch is not something to be done lightly. Once you are seen as the head of the family, to have your wife or children see you in any other light will be damning in their eyes and a fall that you will likely never recover from.
You need to ask yourself if you’re ready to step up and lead your wife.
You need to ask yourself if you’re ready for the huge responsibility that comes with her following and submitting to you.
You need to ask yourself if you’re committed to doing the necessary work to earn the title you were born to bear.